Today, a friend and fellow PR pro sent me a link to a story about a press release. It’s always great when a press release generates a story. It’s rarely great when the release is the subject of the story. But unfortunately, the press release put out by Arizona State University to herald their hiring of football legend Herm Edwards as their new head coach did the latter.

Here’s a sample:

It’s a collaborative approach to managing the ASU football program that includes sport and administrative divisions, which will operate as distinct, but collective units focused on elevating all aspects of Sun Devil Football. This structure will allow the department to form a multi-layered method to the talent evaluation and recruiting processes, increase its emphasis on both student-athlete and coach development and retention, and provide a boost in resource allocation and generation.

I’m not quite sure what to make of the release – is this a case of a mismatch between audience and language or a case of leadership dictating the approach and tone of the message? Either way, what should be a high energy moment that makes students, alumni, boosters and fans feel good and rival programs feel jealous instead reads more like a business jargon bingo card.

Arizona State’s extremely business-jargony press release somehow made its hire of Herm Edwards even weirder [SB Nation]